FALSE ASSUMPTIONS
JANUARY 2013
by Lisa Maki
How many times have you been falsely accused of something you didn’t do? How many times have others misunderstood your message and took it the wrong way? How about you? How many times have you done the same thing to others? How many times have you reacted negatively over something that someone said without even asking the person if how you received the message was how it was intended to be?
False Assumptions ... this is the major reason behind miscommunication, false judgments, close mindedness, lack of empathy, and disunity. People assume that what they think and feel is correct. They also assume that others understand things in the same way they do, and therefore get frustrated when they don’t.
False Assumptions are illusions. They are not real. You think it is real because of what your mind and heart is telling you. You assume that the person is mad at you just because of your own perception.
Why do we assume things most of the time? Why can’t we pause first before reacting? Why can’t we bring the matter to the Lord and ask for His wisdom instead of relying on our own? You want to know why? Because we are impatient, reactive, emotional beings.
The verse in James 1:19 that says: Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to get angry says a lot about our being reactive beings.
Be quick to hear means two things: hearing what the other person has to say and hearing what God has to say. If we will just spend time listening to the other person, then we will understand the deeper meaning of the message. And if we will just spend time listening to God, then He will reveal the truth to us.
Be slow to speak means to bridle our tongue and practice self-control. Proverbs 10:19 says: In a multitude of words, sin is not lacking. If a person says or does something that rubs you in the wrong way, stop and don’t say anything. The mere fact that you feel like reacting means that your emotions are taking over. When you give in to your emotions, which is your flesh, your tongue will be uncontrollable. Your first few words may be alright but as you talk more, you get in the flesh more. Then you get caught in an argument that may just hurt the other person.
Be slow to get angry will only work if you have applied the previous ones: be quick to hear and slow to speak, otherwise you won’t be able to control the surge of your anger.
The crazy thing is, with the phenomenal growth of social networking, I see this “false assumptions” scenario happen time and time again. People assume that your post means what they think it means and comment on it. Before long, others are commenting and there comes the multitude of words. Someone gets offended and gets mad. Then somebody gets unfriended or blocked.
I am a minister and I use facebook as a platform to preach. I reach out to both the lost and the saved. There are times when my post is directed towards the lost. In comes the saved person rebuking me for my post, without understanding what I am trying to do. There are those who respond to my post without checking the link to the article I am promoting. They react negatively without even reading the entire article. People are just so reactive and it is embarrassing for us Christians because we are supposed to be set apart.
Here are some Scriptures that point to instructions on being set apart.
Colossians 3:1
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.
Being reactive is setting our hearts on things below. It is an emotional and not a spiritual reaction.
Romans 12:1-2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Reactive is the world’s pattern; proactive should be our pattern.
Romans 8:9
You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ.
Being reactive and making false assumptions is being controlled by our sinful nature.
Colossians 3:8-10
But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
Being reactive is tied up with anger, rage, malice, and slander. In fact, false assumptions are malicious in themselves.
So the next time you feel offended or provoked, stop and go before the throne of God. Ask Him to give you the wisdom over the situation. Ask Him to show you where the other person is coming from. And instead of being reactive towards the situation, be sensitive to the leading of the Spirit.
False Assumptions ... this is the major reason behind miscommunication, false judgments, close mindedness, lack of empathy, and disunity. People assume that what they think and feel is correct. They also assume that others understand things in the same way they do, and therefore get frustrated when they don’t.
False Assumptions are illusions. They are not real. You think it is real because of what your mind and heart is telling you. You assume that the person is mad at you just because of your own perception.
Why do we assume things most of the time? Why can’t we pause first before reacting? Why can’t we bring the matter to the Lord and ask for His wisdom instead of relying on our own? You want to know why? Because we are impatient, reactive, emotional beings.
The verse in James 1:19 that says: Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to get angry says a lot about our being reactive beings.
Be quick to hear means two things: hearing what the other person has to say and hearing what God has to say. If we will just spend time listening to the other person, then we will understand the deeper meaning of the message. And if we will just spend time listening to God, then He will reveal the truth to us.
Be slow to speak means to bridle our tongue and practice self-control. Proverbs 10:19 says: In a multitude of words, sin is not lacking. If a person says or does something that rubs you in the wrong way, stop and don’t say anything. The mere fact that you feel like reacting means that your emotions are taking over. When you give in to your emotions, which is your flesh, your tongue will be uncontrollable. Your first few words may be alright but as you talk more, you get in the flesh more. Then you get caught in an argument that may just hurt the other person.
Be slow to get angry will only work if you have applied the previous ones: be quick to hear and slow to speak, otherwise you won’t be able to control the surge of your anger.
The crazy thing is, with the phenomenal growth of social networking, I see this “false assumptions” scenario happen time and time again. People assume that your post means what they think it means and comment on it. Before long, others are commenting and there comes the multitude of words. Someone gets offended and gets mad. Then somebody gets unfriended or blocked.
I am a minister and I use facebook as a platform to preach. I reach out to both the lost and the saved. There are times when my post is directed towards the lost. In comes the saved person rebuking me for my post, without understanding what I am trying to do. There are those who respond to my post without checking the link to the article I am promoting. They react negatively without even reading the entire article. People are just so reactive and it is embarrassing for us Christians because we are supposed to be set apart.
Here are some Scriptures that point to instructions on being set apart.
Colossians 3:1
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.
Being reactive is setting our hearts on things below. It is an emotional and not a spiritual reaction.
Romans 12:1-2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Reactive is the world’s pattern; proactive should be our pattern.
Romans 8:9
You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ.
Being reactive and making false assumptions is being controlled by our sinful nature.
Colossians 3:8-10
But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
Being reactive is tied up with anger, rage, malice, and slander. In fact, false assumptions are malicious in themselves.
So the next time you feel offended or provoked, stop and go before the throne of God. Ask Him to give you the wisdom over the situation. Ask Him to show you where the other person is coming from. And instead of being reactive towards the situation, be sensitive to the leading of the Spirit.
Lisa Maki is the founder, publisher, and editor of God'z Gurlz. More about Lisa at ...
http://www.godzgurlz.com/regular-contributors.html
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