I REPENT!
To make matters worse, when you start praying to God about someone, He starts showing you to yourself. This is not only painful but will surely make you want to complain. I don’t know about you but this has happened to me time and time again. I will go before Him talking about someone and then He starts asking me: “How about you”? Of course I have always said back: “What do you mean by ‘how about me’? You know what he did. I may have done something wrong too but what he did was worse. You have seen it, God. You know it”. And then there is silence.
That silence is what makes my heart beat slow and fast at the same time. It’s as if the Father is just watching me, not wanting to say anything more than what He has already said. Each time that happens, I feel like He leaves me alone to figure out for myself what He is really trying to tell me. And normally, it doesn’t take long before I am finally back, with my own realizations.
As I was examining myself recently and having my own realizations, a sister in the Lord shared with me her own journey of repentance and gave me some Scriptures that really helped her. It was no strange Scriptures to me. Yet, as I started to read it, God spoke to me more clearly about repentance.
Let me share with you each verse as it spoke to me. It is all in Psalm 51.
As I was examining myself recently and having my own realizations, a sister in the Lord shared with me her own journey of repentance and gave me some Scriptures that really helped her. It was no strange Scriptures to me. Yet, as I started to read it, God spoke to me more clearly about repentance.
Let me share with you each verse as it spoke to me. It is all in Psalm 51.
6 Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart.
God desires nothing but the truth, His truth, in our inner being. Though our feelings (hurts, anger, pain) are valid most of the time, His truth is what matters more to Him. Forgiveness ... healing ... restoration ... these are His truths that He wants us to focus on.
Sad to say, some people want healing but they do not want to release forgiveness. Some want peace but they hold on to their hurts. It does not work that way. Some are wondering why they are not joyful, forgetting that they are more focused on their pain. I was one of these people. And it was just very recent.
Sad to say, some people want healing but they do not want to release forgiveness. Some want peace but they hold on to their hurts. It does not work that way. Some are wondering why they are not joyful, forgetting that they are more focused on their pain. I was one of these people. And it was just very recent.
7 Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean [ceremonially]; wash me, and I shall [in reality] be whiter than snow.
Hyssop was a small, bushy plant in ancient times used for purification rituals. The priests would pluck small branches from it, dip the bushy end into either water or blood (depending on the ritual), and then sprinkle the water or blood onto the person as a sign of their cleansing. According to Chris Rice (http://preacherwin.wordpress.com/2008/04/30/purify-me-with-hyssop-psalm-51-part-8/), this sprinkling was meant as a visible sign of the forgiveness that the repentant person sought. In seeking forgiveness from God, David is not only placing before him the request that the forgiveness be both visible and on the surface (the hyssop), but also deep down and to the very depth of his being. |
When God heals and purifies, He goes deep down to the very root of our problems. However, He will only do that if we let Him. So when we tell Him, “purify me with hyssop”, we are asking Him to do a deep cleansing process. This can be very painful.
8 Make me to hear joy and gladness and be satisfied; let the bones which You have broken rejoice.
Only through forgiveness and God’s thorough cleansing process can we hear joy and gladness again, and be satisfied. This is something we need to understand. We can’t ask and pray for God’s joy without releasing forgiveness, without repentance, and without the desire for true healing. This is the reason why this verse came after the verse before it.
“Let the bones which You have broken rejoice” simply means that God breaks first in order for us to heal. Brokenness precedes rejoicing.
“Let the bones which You have broken rejoice” simply means that God breaks first in order for us to heal. Brokenness precedes rejoicing.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.
Our trials can wear us out. It can make us not even want to hear anything about God. It desensitizes us from our own feelings, making us numb and not even wanting to care anymore about anything. Though I don’t want to see anyone go through this, most of the time it is a necessary process prior to cleansing.
The hurts and pains we go through can create a build-up of residues that cover our hearts. This is why we feel numb after getting so hurt. The same numbness that feels like it is protecting us from the hurts is actually stopping the healing from taking place.
It is only when we get to that point of severe brokenness when we realize our need to be cleansed and when we, like David, will say: “Create in me a clean heart, O God”. It doesn’t stop here. The result will be a renewal of a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit – the kind of spiritual strength that you’ve never had before.
The hurts and pains we go through can create a build-up of residues that cover our hearts. This is why we feel numb after getting so hurt. The same numbness that feels like it is protecting us from the hurts is actually stopping the healing from taking place.
It is only when we get to that point of severe brokenness when we realize our need to be cleansed and when we, like David, will say: “Create in me a clean heart, O God”. It doesn’t stop here. The result will be a renewal of a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit – the kind of spiritual strength that you’ve never had before.
12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.
As I’ve said, our trials can wear us out. It can make us lose track of our calling. It can even make us not want to have anything to do with God. Repentance, cleansing, and healing will bring about the restoration of that joyful and passionate spirit to serve God all over again.
13 Then will I teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted and return to You.
Only then can you lead others to do the same – to forgive, repent, be healed, be cleansed, and be restored. Only then can that person who hurt you start repenting too. Only then can others understand what forgiveness and repentance are all about.
It all starts with you. And it begins right now! Lisa Maki
05 August 2014 |