FIGHTING FOR PURITY
FEBRUARY 2013
Lisa Maki
One of the biggest challenges that single men and women of God face is the fight for purity. This is even more challenging to those who have already experienced sex and who used to think that it was just normal. I was one of these people. I got saved at 33, a single mom with two kids. So the word “fornication” was a total shock to me.
I believe it is much easier for a virgin to remain a virgin. But for a highly sexual person or someone whose single lifestyle included having sex, it is not easy. Many of our brothers and sisters have greatly stumbled in this area not because they blatantly disobeyed God but because of the past issues and bondages that they carried over with them to their new life in Jesus.
When I got saved I was still in a fornicating relationship. I didn’t realize how sinful it was until God opened my eyes one day. That’s when I decided to break up with my boyfriend and to maintain a life of celibacy. Was it easy? Definitely not! But what made me stick to it is what I want to share with you in this article.
The first two powerful Scriptures that God revealed to me after I got reborn were:
And I will restore or replace for you the years that the locust has eaten (Joel 2:25).
Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense; (Isaiah 61:7).
This spoke so personally to me because all I really wanted in my life was to have a good marriage. I got pregnant and was pressured to get married when I was 19. This marriage ended after 10 years and was declared null and void a few years later. Then I met a man who became like a second husband to me. We were together for a while, with my kids, and I was just waiting for him to work on his divorce and marry me. However, when God revealed to me that I was in a sinful relationship, I gave it up.
Thus, when these two Scriptures were given to me by God, I knew He was telling me that He will restore to me the marriage that the devil stole from me. I knew there was no way for me and my ex-husband to get back together. Other than the very messy relationship and break-up we had, he already had a new wife and a kid. It was also impossible for me to go back to my ex-boyfriend because he was still married to his wife at that time. So I knew then that God was showing me a glimpse of the future ... that I will have a marriage someday that will come from Him ... that I will have a husband that He Himself chose and set aside for me.
This vision of a husband from God motivated me to preserve my purity for him. I also didn’t want to ruin God’s perfect plan for me. And since I had a very distorted concept of sex, I also asked God to allow me to experience sex the way He designed it in marriage. I knew that by asking this I would have to wait to experience the beauty of sex only in marriage.
My desire to have a godly marriage drew me closer to God, which led to a deep intimacy with Him. I began to experience love like no other. I discovered more and more of God’s promises. He also began to expose to me a lot of my sexual issues which were rooted to my hunger for love and spirit of rebellion combined. In this process of exposition God started to heal me.
What God exposed to me at that time made me realize that I had a lot of issues to deal with and that I needed to be healed before even thinking about marriage. This realization helped me in fighting for my purity. I knew that if I end up having sex I will be adding to all the other issues I am being healed from, and that it will just prolong my journey, not to mention the consequences that it will bring.
At that time I was also reading and hearing stories from couples who waited to have sex in marriage. Their stories always left me in tears, which made me crave for purity all the more. I became envious (in a healthy way) of couples who were virgins when they got married and who discovered things together and didn’t carry with them sexual issues into the marital bed. I wanted so much to have a godly and Biblical marriage that I was so willing to fight for it, whatever it took.
All these motivating factors for maintaining purity may not work for you. Some may, some may not. A friend of mine who has been celibate for the past years told me that fighting for her purity makes her see who is really serious about her or not. She believes that a man who truly loves her and God will not want to take that purity away from her.
Other than all these reasons presented, try to discover your own ways of fighting for your purity. You know yourself better than anyone else, and God knows you better than yourself. Let Him speak to you about you. Let Him expose to you what your issues are with regards to sex and marriage. Let Him heal you. At the end of the day what really matters is how serious you are in fighting for your purity.
Please go to our Warrior Prayer section for prayers you can use to deal with your past issues.
I believe it is much easier for a virgin to remain a virgin. But for a highly sexual person or someone whose single lifestyle included having sex, it is not easy. Many of our brothers and sisters have greatly stumbled in this area not because they blatantly disobeyed God but because of the past issues and bondages that they carried over with them to their new life in Jesus.
When I got saved I was still in a fornicating relationship. I didn’t realize how sinful it was until God opened my eyes one day. That’s when I decided to break up with my boyfriend and to maintain a life of celibacy. Was it easy? Definitely not! But what made me stick to it is what I want to share with you in this article.
The first two powerful Scriptures that God revealed to me after I got reborn were:
And I will restore or replace for you the years that the locust has eaten (Joel 2:25).
Instead of your [former] shame you shall have a twofold recompense; (Isaiah 61:7).
This spoke so personally to me because all I really wanted in my life was to have a good marriage. I got pregnant and was pressured to get married when I was 19. This marriage ended after 10 years and was declared null and void a few years later. Then I met a man who became like a second husband to me. We were together for a while, with my kids, and I was just waiting for him to work on his divorce and marry me. However, when God revealed to me that I was in a sinful relationship, I gave it up.
Thus, when these two Scriptures were given to me by God, I knew He was telling me that He will restore to me the marriage that the devil stole from me. I knew there was no way for me and my ex-husband to get back together. Other than the very messy relationship and break-up we had, he already had a new wife and a kid. It was also impossible for me to go back to my ex-boyfriend because he was still married to his wife at that time. So I knew then that God was showing me a glimpse of the future ... that I will have a marriage someday that will come from Him ... that I will have a husband that He Himself chose and set aside for me.
This vision of a husband from God motivated me to preserve my purity for him. I also didn’t want to ruin God’s perfect plan for me. And since I had a very distorted concept of sex, I also asked God to allow me to experience sex the way He designed it in marriage. I knew that by asking this I would have to wait to experience the beauty of sex only in marriage.
My desire to have a godly marriage drew me closer to God, which led to a deep intimacy with Him. I began to experience love like no other. I discovered more and more of God’s promises. He also began to expose to me a lot of my sexual issues which were rooted to my hunger for love and spirit of rebellion combined. In this process of exposition God started to heal me.
What God exposed to me at that time made me realize that I had a lot of issues to deal with and that I needed to be healed before even thinking about marriage. This realization helped me in fighting for my purity. I knew that if I end up having sex I will be adding to all the other issues I am being healed from, and that it will just prolong my journey, not to mention the consequences that it will bring.
At that time I was also reading and hearing stories from couples who waited to have sex in marriage. Their stories always left me in tears, which made me crave for purity all the more. I became envious (in a healthy way) of couples who were virgins when they got married and who discovered things together and didn’t carry with them sexual issues into the marital bed. I wanted so much to have a godly and Biblical marriage that I was so willing to fight for it, whatever it took.
All these motivating factors for maintaining purity may not work for you. Some may, some may not. A friend of mine who has been celibate for the past years told me that fighting for her purity makes her see who is really serious about her or not. She believes that a man who truly loves her and God will not want to take that purity away from her.
Other than all these reasons presented, try to discover your own ways of fighting for your purity. You know yourself better than anyone else, and God knows you better than yourself. Let Him speak to you about you. Let Him expose to you what your issues are with regards to sex and marriage. Let Him heal you. At the end of the day what really matters is how serious you are in fighting for your purity.
Please go to our Warrior Prayer section for prayers you can use to deal with your past issues.
Lisa Maki is the founder, publisher, and editor of God'z Gurlz. More about Lisa at ...
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